Evolution of pre mid-life friendships

The excuse being my wedding, I had the chance to catch up with a lot of friends in the past couple of months. These are people I have been very close to at different points in time, but are now settled in different cities.

Unlike family bonds, for most friends, the passage of time has not changed relationships. We might not stay in touch over social media or messaging services, but when we meet, we usually revert to our old carefree selves, and there is a certain amount of joy in this uninhibitedness.

The spectrum of conversations has changed somewhat though. Optimization becomes a big part of discussions, and while they are mildly interesting as an intellectual exercise, they get somewhat banal very quickly. I mean, how long can one discuss the benefits of renting a house vs owning one, or dissect different credit cards by their cashback points. Free-flowing, and perhaps to some extent meaningless conversations on history and space and politics did happen, but they lacked the fervour of college days. All part of growing up, I guess.

Personally relevant to me was the whole debate around settling in India vs moving out. While I have a clear answer in favour of the former, the consensus appears to be that moving to a country like US would mean embracing a healthier lifestyle, bad food, good money, and a whole lot of loneliness. Sounds about right.

Couple of friends have recently started families, and I was very happy (but not surprised) to see their happiness in entering parenthood. The only complaint seems to be an absolute dearth of ‘me-time’ (they are saying an infant needs constant attention, who would have thought). Also, the strongest opinions on raising kids were from those who don’t have any yet (again not surprising).

We all did realize we need to take better care of our bodies. Gone are the days of back-to-back all- night drinking, and we need our seven hours of sleep. Boardgames appear to be a happy discovery. We eat more carefully, and time spent in nature is bliss.

It will now perhaps be a very long while before I can meet all my friends together again. Getting married does seem like the final party before life moves in a new direction. Mild nervous excitement sums up the current state of mental affairs, but it’s a feeling I am used to and very comfortable with.