Happily Lost – A Diary Entry

I quit my job in November 2019, about four months ago. The idea was (and is) to work on something of my own. I wasn’t sure what it was,  how it would play out, how would my day look like, how would my parents and friends react to it. Also looking back, I feel it might have been the case that after working continuously for four years, I just felt like it’s a good idea to take a break and evaluate life in general.

Initially I started working with a colleague of mine who had also quit at the same time. We were working on an idea to provide extra-curricular activities like chess, artwork, music at home for kids. Working on this was fun in parts, especially since I was doing a lot of work for the first time (you don’t really do a lot of work in a most regular jobs, trust me). Acquiring customers, designing websites and posters, getting offline marketing material printed, conducting classes, listening to parents’ grievances – all of this gave me a lot of satisfaction.

Unfortunately though, my partner and I had a lot of fundamental differences which we were unable to resolve. I realized quite early in this journey that working on a startup is as taxing (if not more) on your mental health as a marriage, you just have to spend an inordinate amount of time together – and it’s true that a large part of this time is unproductive as well. Therefore, it’s extremely important that you have a strong connect with the person, you work with someone with the highest integrity, the trust level is extremely high, you have the same minimum common vision (although if you have trust then this is not really that important), and finally, you enjoy each other’s company even beyond work. Most of this was not true in my case, which is why I took the call after three months to not continue working in that setup. Having said that, no regrets.

I have spent the last one month simply exploring various ideas to work on, honing my skills further as a semi-professional online poker player, learning how to invest, working on my fitness, and reading a lot of books. Needless to say, I have been at home all this while, and hence the Corona virus has had a very limited impact on my daily life, which probably is not the case for most of you reading this.

It is unusual in India to take a break which is longer than two weeks – our society is organized in a manner in which the job market perceives someone who takes a break negatively. I am sure this is the case in other countries to some extent as well, but it is quite exaggerated in India. I look at it as a trade-off – on one hand you take a break which will be negatively perceived by the job-market should you go back to it, while on the other hand a few weeks (or months) off allows you to really unclutter your mind (working continuously in most jobs will eventually lead you to not employing your mental faculties). For me the benefits of the latter far outweigh the risks of the former, especially as I feel right now that I want to create a business which is there for the long term, instead of spending my time in the corporate world.

Having a fantastic support system at home has been extremely helpful, I feel I am extremely privileged to be born in a family where parents are supportive of most decisions I make, and mostly let me do my own thing. Also, a close circle of friends to discuss ideas and thoughts with, although most of them are either married or going to be, which changes some dynamics. Finally, and this is extremely important, one needs to be financially independent to be able to really think freely – luckily I have had the chance to accumulate a few years worth of savings from my time at consulting.

The road ahead is uncertain for sure – I feel I have never felt more lost in terms of what the future offers, or what path will my own career take. Ironically, I also feel I have not felt happier in life, and it’s truly amazing I am able to go to sleep every night looking forward to the the next day, to learn something new, to explore a new opportunity.

Cheers, and let’s hope this unfortunate pandemic is behind us soon.